Thursday, December 24, 2009
First of all, if you do hit your head, pound your fist into the doorjamb. Pound it hard. Pound again. Yell at the doorframe. “Leave my head alone, you big bully.”
Always duck. Bow your head. Pretend the Emperor of Japan is always waiting in the next room, but in general, avoid Asian countries where structures tend to be built for smaller people.
Avoid caves. Avoid castles. Avoid beach houses. Avoid trailer homes. Avoid cozy lofts.
Be vigilant when wearing a cap. The cap won’t protect your head. The bill will impair your vision. The little button atop the cap will tattoo your pate.
Don’t grow so tall. Refuse milk as a child. Avoid hanging from ledges. Live in a cold climate. Malnourish yourself. Tell your parents you want recessive genes.
Don’t wear heels. Even when such shoes are fashionable during disco and glam rock periods, insist on flats. Express your fashion sense with large belt buckles and jade jewelry.
Under no circumstances should you ever let your friends convince you to wear a Mohawk.
Insist on living in Wilt Chamberlain’s house. Vacation in Norway. Walk through archways. Visit marble buildings with enormous entranceways. Visit museums. Visit train stations. Visit monuments.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Ron, Chris, Carl and I rode up Trabuco and down Bell Ridge last Sunday. What a day! The climb up Trabuco was tough but doable. My pre-holiday legs just couldn't spin up all the loose sections, so I walked a bit. When we reached the top of Trabuco we made the familiar climbs to Pinos Peak. This is where we geared up for the descent and - oh my gosh - what a descent. Bell Ridge is amazing. Many thanks to those who worked on this trail. It is in such good shape. I can't say enough about this trail. It begins with an out-of-this-world descent through the trees, then climbs and drops along the exposed ridge for several more miles. There was one gut-busting hike-a-bike. Then there were several controlled slide sections, followed by shorter climbs and a couple steep, on the verge of, uncontrolled slide sections. It was truly on out of body experience. We finished on the super steep BGR trail, which is sort of like luge riding on a 30% grade. Wow. I've been buzzing all week about this ride.
Rode the San Juan Trail following the big rain. Actually rode it twice that week. San Juan is the go-to trail when everything else is soaked. This day was perfect - tacky dirt, tight switchbacks and gorgeous scenery to boot.
Photo courtesy of Ron Leland. I'm always pissed when he makes us stop, but it the result is definitely worth it.